Situationship Test: Am I In a Situationship?

Twelve (12) questions. The Registrar will determine the standing of your arrangement and issue a certificate recording it. The determination is final. Appeals may be lodged, and will be noted.

What this test measures

A situationship is a romantic arrangement that has the routine of a relationship and none of the agreement. It is not the talking stage, which is early and expected to resolve, and it is not friends with benefits, which is usually stated plainly by both parties. It is the third thing: ongoing, undefined, and generally undefined on purpose.

The Registrar does not ask how you feel. Feelings are not admissible. Form 12-R asks twelve questions about observable conduct — how far ahead plans are made, whether you have met the friends, how many times the matter has been raised and left unresolved, how long the arrangement has run, and whether exclusivity was agreed or merely assumed. Each answer carries a weight. The weights produce a classification.

The classification is one of several standings, from an arrangement that is a relationship in all but name to one the Bureau declines to dignify with a category. A Certificate of Romantic Standing is issued either way, bearing a reference number and a seal. You may keep it, share it, or produce it as evidence in a conversation you have been avoiding.

How long an arrangement may remain unclassified

The Bureau records two (2) seasons — approximately six (6) months — as the outer limit of reasonable ambiguity. Beyond that point an arrangement that has not been defined is not on its way to being defined; the absence of a decision has become the decision. Offence code RG-02, persistence of an unregistered arrangement beyond two seasons, is recorded against the file where applicable. It carries no penalty. It is simply noted, which the Bureau finds is usually enough.

Common questions

How do you know if you are in a situationship?

You are likely in a situationship if the relationship is romantic and ongoing but has never been defined out loud, if plans are made late and rarely in advance, and if you cannot say with confidence how the other person would describe you to a friend. The test on this page scores twelve such indicators and returns a classification.

How long is too long for a situationship?

There is no fixed limit, but most people report the ambiguity becoming the main source of distress somewhere between three and six months. The Bureau treats two seasons — roughly six months — as the point at which an unclassified arrangement should either be defined or ended.

What is the difference between a situationship and the talking stage?

The talking stage is early and exploratory, usually measured in weeks, and both people expect it to resolve into something or nothing. A situationship has passed that point: it has the shape and routine of a relationship but none of the agreement, and it is no longer moving toward a decision.

Is a situationship the same as friends with benefits?

No. Friends with benefits is usually explicit and agreed, with both people naming the arrangement and its limits. A situationship is defined by the absence of that conversation — the emotional involvement of a relationship without the agreement that would make it one.

Can a situationship turn into a relationship?

It can, but rarely by waiting. The change almost always follows an explicit conversation defining the relationship. If the arrangement has continued unchanged for several months without that conversation being possible, the ambiguity is generally the arrangement rather than a stage of it.

How do you end a situationship?

Plainly, once, and in a single message or conversation rather than a gradual withdrawal. Because nothing was ever formally agreed, there is often a temptation to fade instead — which tends to prolong the ambiguity for both people rather than resolve it.

Standing advisories

The Registrar's guidance on the matters that most often precede a classification, issued free and without an application.

• How Long Does the Talking Stage Last?
• Situationship vs Talking Stage: How to Tell the Difference
• How Long Is Too Long for a Situationship? Two Seasons
• Situationship Red Flags: Five Observable Signs
• How to End a Situationship Over Text

The full set is held at Standing Advisories.

Related counters

Once classified, the file may be referred onward. If the arrangement has ended and the question is whether to make contact, attend the text your ex breathalyser. If it has ended and the question is when you may date again, the rebound countdown will calculate a sentence. For a dossier on someone you have not yet classified, the postcode profiler is open. The full directory is held at Online Services.